It is a well-known fact that the act of masturbation is the ultimate statement of self-love. There is an understanding that in order to love others, one must love themselves first. Discovering what one physically enjoys during sex through self-exploration is extremely empowering.

Women’s masturbation is something to be celebrated and enjoyed as it is a means of literally taking one’s pleasure into their own hands. Masturbation can be enjoyed in many different ways throughout all stages of a woman’s life. Many women partake in self-pleasure and as the Eurythmics and Aretha Franklin once sang: “Sisters are Doin’ it for Themselves.”

The first experience in feeling something good “in between her legs” is oftentimes experienced in the privacy of a shower, using the shower’s warm water and pressure for stimulation. Sometimes, stimulation can happen in a bath with warm water coming out of the faucet while she is in a relaxed position lying in a tub.

A first experience may be in a shower or hot tub with the warm jet of water hitting exactly “there” for a delightful experience. Being aware of what excites you and puts you in the mood is the best place to start.

How to Get in the Mood for Masturbation?

The first thing to think about is that you want to do this for yourself, the most important person! Think about what has brought you pleasure before? Was it a person? A current or former lover? A place you’ve been, a way someone touched you? A beautiful aroma of flowers? A scene in a movie? Music? A favorite sex toy? A fantasy you’ve had yet to try?

The list goes on as to what you personally have found pleasurably stimulating and incorporating these things and thoughts into a masturbation scene only adds to the experience.

Should I Use Sex Toys During Masturbation?

Masturbation is the perfect time to use toys and learn which ones you like the most as there is no rule that says you can’t use a toy for stimulation and pleasure. When you find one that reminds you of a lover, fuels a fantasy, that can work hands free, or sparks something new, using it during masturbation is the perfect place to start.

When choosing a toy to use on yourself, the most important question to ask is “what kind of stimulation do I like?” It can be external stimulation: as a clitoral toy; inside: like a vibrator or dildo; a dual vibrator: one that works inside and outside your body, often with twirling pearls in the g-spot area; a g-spot toy with a gentle curve at the tip to use internally, or an anal plug to be used with an internal vibrator? And of course, nipple clamps can be used for an extra, hands free treat, too!

Popular vibe for female masturbation Hitachi Magic Wand Original MassagerIf you choose to use a vibrator, try using it on a slower speed first to build up your sexual response while you increase speed. Larger, external massagers, like the popular Magic Wand, can bring on a clitoral orgasm quickly with its strong vibrations. If the Magic Wand’s vibrations are too intense, simply wrap the head of the massager with a cloth to dissipate the vibrations and keep going!

There are many other clitoral vibrators available from small bullet vibrators to larger ones like the Magic Wand. When buying an adult toy, be sure to get what appeals to you visually as that’s your body’s response to it because it’s your body that’s going to use it.

Dildos come in hundreds of different shapes, sizes, and materials. Basically, a dildo is a toy that doesn’t vibrate yet fills the vagina for sensation and stimulation. Silicone toys are easy to clean and are in a variety of firmnesses. Glass dildos are gaining popularity for their hardness and beautiful colors. Dildos can also be warmed prior to use by putting them in warm water first, making them feel more realistic than using them at room temperature.

What can women do when they masturbate?

Another thing to consider is what kind of physical sexual pleasure you enjoy? Is it clitoral stimulation on the outside of your vulva? Do you enjoy your stimulation on the inside of the vagina? Do you like teasing or inserting an anal toy? And don’t forget your breast and nipples as they contain many sexually stimulating nerve endings and rubbing your fingertips or hands over and squeezing them can add to your pleasure experience.

Don’t dwell on the things you’ve read or have been told that you have to do it this way or that way to reach orgasm or just stimulate one part of your body but not another – the beauty of masturbation is that YOU do what feels best for your body! Your body is sure to respond with pleasure!

How do I start masturbating?

There is no right or wrong way to masturbate as long as the time you spend with yourself is a good one and you’re comfortable enough to relax. Try not to rush things when you're learning how to masturbate! Take your time to discover what turns you on, what gets your blood pumping, what gets you breathing heavy and hard and don’t forget to breathe deeply! Breathing is a key part of masturbation and sex. Learning how to relax though breath during sex will only add to your pleasure.

Get into a comfortable position by using pillows and being in a place where you can relax. Resist the urge to use your cellphone or tablet unless it becomes part of your session by watching a video or reading erotica that excites you. Set the mood much like you would with a partner because during masturbation, your partner is YOU!

Start by touching yourself all over your body, allowing your hands to caress yourself, being your own lover. Taking time to touch and feel yourself builds up sensation instead of aiming directly for the clitoris at the start of your session. Think of it as self-applied foreplay and women will agree that foreplay is one of the best parts of a sexual experience.

Continue with long strokes of the inner and outer labia (the two sets of folds making the exterior of the vulva) with your fingers or a toy, adds to the blood flow to the genital area. Try making circles around your clitoris after applying some lubricant to your fingertips (Lube can keep things nice and slippery which cuts down on irritation and friction both inside and outside the vagina).

If, perhaps, you feel that direct stimulation by using your fingers or a vibrator is too intense on the clitoris, you can easily “roll” your clitoris inside between the top of your outer labia, stroking your labia with your fingers as you feel your clitoris being stimulated inside. This may make your clitoris firmer and larger, which is what happens when the blood engorges this wonderful organ.

It’s your choice whether to incorporate a sex toy into your masturbation session as it’s all about your self-pleasure. Again, there’s no right or wrong way to masturbate as long as it feels good!

Changing things up during masturbation can be the perfect time to discover a new toy, position or technique for touch. Allow yourself to experience new sensations and let go of limits you may have felt when having partner sex. Breathe deeply and relax. Experiencing self-love though masturbation creates no judgments or rights or wrongs, it’s just a wonderful trip to the world of self-pleasure. So lay back and enjoy the ride!