It’s 2018 and you’re not playing with your partner’s ass? What are you even doing? The taboo around the back door has been smashed and people the world over are embracing the seriously strong orgasms that can come from anal play. This is true for women, for men, for gender non-binary individuals, and for everyone else along the Kinsey Scale. So, join us as we dive into everything you need to know about anal play.
Before we get into the nitty-gritty of how sticking a finger, a tongue, a mouth, a penis, or an anal vibrator into your partner’s butt will blow their mind, let’s cover the basics. The name of the game when it comes to anal play is communication. This is true for pre-sex, sex itself, and the oxytocin-soaked afterglow.
Sit down with your partner (or partners!) and answer the following questions:
- Are you ready for anal play?
- Is your partner?
- What concerns do you each have?
- What are your respective limits?
- What’s too much and what’s not enough?
- What expectations do you have for the experience?
- Why are you considering anal play in the first place?
- Do you have any medical issues to consider?
- Does your partner?
- What proactive measures do you each need to take pre-butt play?
While this isn’t a comprehensive list by any means, it’s more than enough to open up lines of communication and help everyone involved feel comfortable and ready.
It’s also worth taking a minute to point out that the anal scenes in porn aren’t always realistic. In fact, if it’s your first time considering anal play, you definitely shouldn’t take inspiration from porn. Remember: a good pounding is something to work up to and, even then, isn’t always the most pleasurable for men or women!
Oh, and remember that your back door doesn’t lubricate itself. We’ll touch on your lube options below, but it’s important to state now that you HAVE to use lube.
Now that we’ve covered the basics of everything you need to know about anal play, let’s move onto gender-specific tips and tricks.
The Hustler Guide to Anal Play for Women
Make no mistake though, women can have seriously intense anal orgasms as a result of G-spot stimulation through the rectal wall. That isn’t even all! Anal play for women also results in the powerful stimulation of sphincter nerves and cervix-adjacent tissues and nerves. This one-two-three combo results in the all-powerful anal orgasm.Anal play and sex are different for women than they are for men. The most obvious difference is that women don’t have the mythical P-Spot (aka prostate and nope it isn’t mythical at all!), so their anal experience is going to be very different than men’s.
Speaking of sphincter nerves, make sure to use toys specifically designed for anal play. This means you want ones with a flared base. Otherwise, you could end up with your toy inside your rectum. Nothing ruins a sexy evening easier than a trip to the ER, believe us on that.
Okay, now that we’re all on the same page, let’s take a look at some tricks of the trade.
This one’s a no-brainer, right? Wrong. You’d be surprised how many people are seduced by porn and just start slamming away. Our professional tip: don’t be that person.
You’re going to want to go very slow and incremental when putting anything into your ass or your partner’s. Don’t start with a Double Penetration Rabbit with Vibrating Anal Beads (though you should definitely finish with one!). Start with a finger or tongue. Even better, start with some classic anal beads.
And here comes everything you need to know about anal play tip number two: use lube.
Lube, Lube, & More Lube
With an almost unlimited number of lube options out there, you don’t have ANY excuse for not making sure your back door is ready to go before letting anyone come knocking. When it comes to female anal play, we recommend anal lubes and jellies. Not only are these created with your ass in mind, but they offer a level of glide that “normal” lubes simply don’t.
Silicone lube is a great choice for anal play because it doesn’t absorb into your skin. This means it will last longer. One important drawback is that you can’t use silicone lube with silicone toys. Sorry, gals.
Anal play for women tip number 3 is to get creative. Now we’re not talking about anything crazy here – or maybe we are! It all depends what you and your partner(s) are into! We’re talking about adding an element of sensual care to a process that can sometimes be overwhelmingly medical.
So, what does this look like? Well, what about getting a flavored lube and letting your partner go downtown on your bum first? After all, what better way to prepare for fingers or vibes than with a tongue?
What about getting a remote-control vibrating butt plug and giving your partner control of it while you’re at work? We guarantee you Carol from Accounting will have no idea why you’re smiling so much.
The Hustler Guide to Anal Play for Men
The next stop on our tour of everything you need to know about anal play is in the Hustler guide to anal play for men. The best part about anything related to your butt, guys? The prostate. Let’s say it one more time for anyone who wasn’t paying attention – the prostate.
This walnut-shaped gland is the secret to anal play for men. Yes, men have sphincter nerves too, but they pale in comparison to the overwhelming experience that is prostate stimulation. In fact, did you know men have prostate only orgasms? That’s right, they don’t have to touch their penises to finish.
Interested? Well then, keep reading!
While there are A LOT of ways to pay attention to the prostate, none are better than prostate massagers specifically designed to get guys off. Sure, a finger, dildo, tongue, or set of anal beads get the job done, but prostate massagers can leave a man quite literally at a loss for words.
If you’re stimulating your own prostate, then it’s important to remember it’s located towards the front of your body. This means you’ll want you’re going to want to use whatever type of toy you choose in a forward motion. Point it and move it towards your stomach.
The prostate itself is located about two inches inside your anus, so you don’t have to go deep. Just slip something in and start feeling around until you catch the unmistakable jolt of reorganization. You know that feeling when you’re about to finish? That’s what we’re talking about.
It’s important to remember a few things before sliding it into you or your partner’s prostate DMs.
Go Slow & Use Lube
Anal play for men isn’t any different in nature than anal play for women. You want to ease into things. This means avoid the pound-town impulse and take your time. Work yourself or your partner up to larger objects with fingers, anal beads, butt plugs, and more.
What you start with, make sure to go slow and communicate openly. If your partner says something hurts, stop right away! If they say something feels incredible (and they will), make sure to keep doing that!
Sometimes the best thing you can do is take a breather for a minute. This lets you and your partner relax. You can get back at it in a new position, with a new toy. The important thing here is to acknowledge that sometimes the first time is uncomfortable, but this doesn’t mean the second time won’t be incredible!
The same goes for lube. We can’t stress this enough – there is almost no such thing as too much lube. You want to make sure your butt is ready to go before anything even gets close to entering it. Remember silicone lube is great, but you can’t use silicone toys with it.
Have Fun Above All Else
Remember when we told women to get creative when it comes to anal play? The same is true for men. The name of the game is fun, pleasure, and the strongest orgasms you’re ever going to have. It’s super important to keep that in mind during all stages of the anal play experience.
This creativity and fun can take as many forms as there are people on the planet. We’re big fans of introducing sexy games into the anal equation. In fact, you can even combine games with other kinks like BDSM for a truly mind-blowing experience.
And there you have it – everything you need to know about anal play! We have you covered from the guides for women and men to practical tips and tricks for staying safe. Now that you know what it takes for some back door fun, it’s time to experience it for yourself. Start shopping now!