How to Have Sex at a Festival (Without Anyone Knowing!)

How to Have Sex at a Festival Without Anyone Knowing

The thrill of a dope festival lineup is intoxicating. Multiply that times a couple thousand sexy strangers and free-floating "feel good" substances, and you've got a certified recipe for free love on your hands. Next thing you know, your fave artist is finally on stage, they're playing your favorite song and all the good feelings are hella flowin'. Your mind is "off" while your body is just so on.

Festivals create an indescribable atmosphere unlike any other kind of experience. They're a 'green light' for letting go and giving into any (and all) of your urges in a genuinely judgment-free environment. And the weirder the better, right? (Shoutout to the dude in the banana costume dancing by himself in the middle of the field.) One of the things we love most about music festivals is that pretty much anything goes. Clothes become optional (nipple covers as a top? we’re so here for it), horse head masks dot the audience, and...are those two getting it on behind the taco stand? Well, that escalated quickly.

It's daytime guys - we can see you. And while festival sex is far from rare (approximately one-third of surveyed festival goers have done it), there are better ways than having bare asses out in the sunshine for all to see. If you're interested in your festival escapades being a bit more on the discreet side, here's how to have sex at a festival without anyone knowing.

The Trick to Tent Sex

Festivals with campgrounds are such a blessing. Not only do they offer refuge from the throngs of the crowds, but they make for sweet transportable sex palaces in a pinch. But it's not as simple as just zipping the door closed and going to pound-town. Tents do the heavy lifting of shielding you and your partner from prying eyes, but you'll have to exercise some noise restraint in order to be truly discreet.

Tents are thin, and most campgrounds are far from the action happening at the stages. This means that you won't have booming music to cover up your moans. To make matters even more challenging, tents are notorious for getting hot. You'll most likely need to unzip a tent flap for ventilation, meaning one less barrier between the outside world and your sex sounds. A quick solution for your quickie? Try out a ball gag to help you keep quiet in a sexy way.

Get In the Thick of It

Getting it on in the middle the crowd sounds crazy - but it works (in fact, Usher even made a song about it)! Having sex in the middle of a clouda hiding-in-plain-sight method. Think back to all those times when you've been out on the town. When you first start the night (and maybe the drinks haven't kicked in yet), you squeeze yourself into the middle of the dance floor. Why? Because it feels safe to be in a crowd. You're much more likely to be singled out at the edge of the dance floor, so you seek the shelter of the crowd to avoid standing out. While this isn’t the private festival sex we promised you, it's a great alternative if you find things getting hot and steamy and you can't wait another second to find cover.

guide to sex at summer festivals

Find Some Foliage

If you don't have the luxury of retreating to a tent for sexy-time, check whether the festival grounds have any foliage that could offer some cover. Just be mindful of the greenery around you. Nothing will stop a sexy hook up faster than poison ivy, pointy palm trees, or ants. Our suggestion: play it safe by laying a protective blanket on the ground. This will enable you to to get down and dirty - without actually having to roll in the dirt. This vinyl sheet is a great idea and can double as a durable, spill-proof, blanket for watching performances.

Avoid the Water Stations

No matter what time of day it is or which band is playing, there will always be people around a music festival's water station. Festival goers will be coming and going at all times of the day filling up their canteens and CamelBaks - making this a very unwise location for a quickie. If in the midst of a steamy make out you realize that you're near this hotspot, try to relocate your lovemaking. This will significantly reduce the chances that you'll be walked in on and allow you to have sex without anyone knowing.

Wet Wipes are a MUST

Keep wet wipes on hand at all times in case of a sudden tryst. Regardless of how or where you get freaky during the festival, nothing's going to give your secret away quicker than cum remnants on your clothes or person (you've got something on your cheek, you naughty girl). Pro tip: since showers may not be readily accessible on the campgrounds, use wet wipes to clean everything both before and afterward. Sweaty genitals are a certified boner-deflator, so keep these on hand to keep you feeling (and smelling) fresh even if you've been dancing for hours.

When it comes to spontaneous sex, we get it. Now that you know how to have sex at a festival without anyone knowing - there's no excuse not to partake. Before you hit the festival circuit, make sure you’re prepared with sexy festival clothing and gear. Leave your inhibitions back home, pack your tent (maybe a catsuit or two), and cut loose!

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